Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving ABC

Inspired by One-Minute Writer:

The ABC's of my Thanksgiving

A: Attitudes that inspire
B: Being able to buy books
C: A safe Car
D: Dancing when I am alone
E: Evenings at home
F: Fridays
G: My Granny still being with us
H: H., my daughter
I: Independence
J: J., my son
K: knowledge
L: Laughter
M: Magic
N: Naps
O: Ocean
P: Parents
Q: Quiet
R: Rain at night
S: Snow days
T: Teaching
U: Universal love
V: Victories
W: Wisdom
X: eXuberance
Y: Year of ups and downs
Z: Life with Zip


Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. May the blessings of the season fill your heart and nourish your soul.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Blessings of the Heart

Disclaimer: Being a single woman sometimes this blog will address issues of the heart and false starts.

Tonight I got sentimental. It was a rather bittersweet feeling, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet. My mother and I were talking about this and that when I began to share stories she never knew. I told her about how I met D., and how he walked back and forth several times before stopping. I told her about our first kiss, and how he attached his class ring to a dozen roses and had it delivered to me for my birthday. I told her about P.(her favorite) who ticked me off one night in my dorm's lobby just to meet me. We ended up talking for hours, and then he sent me a Winnie Pooh card. The card was my favorite literary character and it had his phone number. I told her about how A. made a vase out of Snocap chocolate boxes, and then put flowers in it. I fell in love though when he spent an hour trying to find my son's paci. My mother listened to the stories and talked about her own memories of the boys who have come and gone, and with this opening of memories, I realized how blessed I have been.
I have been loved. I have loved, and I will continue to love. I will wake up alone on Thanksgiving, but I still carry this love in me. Corney, yes, but true. I am so blessed to have known real emotion from real people who weren't knights in shining armor. They were flawed and complex. They helped to shape me into...well, me.
For that, thank you, dear hearts.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Finally Know What I Want in a Man (and it isn't going to happen)

Okay, last weekend changed my life. I watched Lawrence Gowan preform with Styx, and a new obsession was born. I have looked up every video on youtube, and I now own the best of Gowan. How dare the Canadian borders block this from me in my impressionable youth. My years in the 80s would have been better if I had known his name. I do have problems watching the videos from the 80s just for the cheese factor, but the music is rich and fun and wow, sexy. Then I saw this video, and Mr. Gowan has ruined me for all men. I think this is going to be my next personal ad: Searching for Mr. Gowan, circa 1990-1997. Anyway, if you like good music and cute boys, may I just share this with you:

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Am I Lonely? Blog going back into Single Mom Territory for a Bit.

Could it be? I didn't realize it. I went through my days and nights completely unaware that was even an option. I have not been in a relationship for several, several months (okay years), and I wanted it that way. I had been in love and then I thought I wasn't. Two weeks ago, contact was made and this past love showed up with a bag of groceries and many memories. Except for two late night conversations, nothing else has occurred to make me believe this relationship is going to rekindle. I refuse to dream of what may not be, and I am trying not to misread any signals. I don't want to believe in fairy tales, but I also don't want to let this one go. How odd is that? A friend recently asked if he was my "twin flame" and I now wondering if he was/is, and that is why I am suddenly knocked off balance. All of sudden I am in stuck in my winter of discontent. I woke up Sunday, and I was lonely to the core. I have a wonderful family who loves me, but there I was missing my other half. The funny thing is I am not sure if I am missing the man I know or the one I have yet to meet.

In the spirit of things I am attaching my second latest obsession, Lawrence Gowan from Styx. This one song is becoming my theme song:
http://popup.lala.com/popup/1585548587009704898

When There's Time (For Love)
Written by Lawrence Gowan, E. Schwartz, J.D. Souther
Lead Vocals by Lawrence Gowan

The timing's wrong
You're out there eager to fly
I'll say so long
But I'll sure be watching the sky
When your wheels finally touch the groud
Look me up, I'll be around

When there's time for love
I want to be there
When you've got all night for love
I see you and me there
Well maybe our time isn't now
But it will come around

Must be nice
Out there chasing the stars
I've tried it once or twice
Flew real high and I fell real hard
Do what you've got to do
Make every single dream come true

And when there's time for love
I want to be there
When you've got all night for love
I see you and me there
Well maybe our time isn't now
But it will come around

Yes it will come around, it'll come around
And when you think your soaring days are done
You're going to find out
How they've just begun

When your wheels finally touch the ground
Look me up, I'll be around

'Cause when there's time for love
I want to be there
When you've got all night for love
I see you and me there
Well maybe our time isn't now
But it will come around

Monday, November 16, 2009

Lucky Me

I love Styx. No, seriously, I really do. They have been dear to my heart for well over twenty years now, and this is with or without Dennis. Amazing voice, but he just doesn't seem like a nice guy at all. Anyway, Saturday was my Styx experience. I had the pleasure of seeing Tommy Shaw in a bar in Nashville two years ago, but even as good as it was, it couldn't even begin to compare to this weekend. The band's energy was contagious, and I really do believe they are getting better with age. Fun, fun, so much fun. My girlfriends and I had a blast, especially with the opening act--Bo Bice. Oh, man, he is soooooo good. Sexy, talented, and I swear, he must have the best hair in show business. He is also a really, super nice guy. He was listening to Styx and was more than happy to meet the handful fan that found him with the sound guy. He touched me!!!!!!!! No, I mean his music touched me.

Here is Styx with Lawrence Gowan singing my favorite Beatles song, and yes, I love this version. All is good for me:


And now a little Bo:

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Ah-ha About the Dream

I figured it all out: He dreamed I was searching in earnest for something, and I was opening several different doors. I was dressed in clothes from the 30s, and in one hand, I held a sword. The other hand was a candle. This week I caught several students cheating, but I lack the proof needed to proceed formally. In one hand, I hold justice. The other hand is the truth. Deep, very deep, especially since he didn't know about the job stress. He did say the dream ended happily.


Funny what dreams reveal. Maybe he is just watching too many old movies at night.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Do You Believe in Dreams and Other Stress

Two ex's both showed up this week, on different sides of my life. One came in for a visit with a bag of groceries, laughs, and just a relaxing evening. We even had time to hike and have many honest conversations. Anything in the future? Not at this moment, and as with any relationship, I plan to take just one day at a time. I don't want to plan anything at this point, but it was nice to remember why I fell for him in the first place. Some times we need to remember the good and just hang out. With that in mind, ex two really shocked me. He came in the form of an email. He is an ex-fiance, but he seems to be tapping into mystical powers. He had a dream about me last week where there was something developing around me which would lead to a great loss for him. He said though it was very peaceful since I was so happy.

Funny, my dreams are not pointing to any certain directions, so I want to hear more, but why do I have to be in a standard relationship to be happy. Why is happy always synonymous with romance? I think we are buying into the season of Twilight here. My happiness shouldn't be tied into anybody's knots. I am and will be happy with my life, and when the world does coming crashing down, I pray that my faith and love will be my strength. I have hope, and I pray I never lose it.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Lord of the Dance

When I was a kid, I sang the following song in church, and today I think the lyrics are very much needed. Dancing is usually looked upon as just a physical celebration, but a friend has reminded me that it can also heal the soul. We should not only dance in the light, but we need to find the strength to dance when the shadows circle around us:

I danced in the morning when the world was begun,
I dance in the moon and the stars and the sun,
I came down from Heaven and I danced on earth,
At Bethlehem I had my birth.

"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance," said he,
"And I'll lead you all wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance," said he.

I danced for the scribe and the Pharisee,
They would not dance, they wouldn't follow me.
So I danced for the fishermen,
James and John came with me and the dance went on.

"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance," said he,
"And I'll lead you all wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance," said he.

I danced on the Sabbath and I cured the lame,
The Holy people said it was a shame.
They whipped and they stripped and they hung me high,
Left me there on a cross to die.

"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance," said he,
"And I'll lead you all wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance," said he.

I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black,
It's hard who dance with the devil on your back.
They buried my body, they thought I'd gone,
But I am the dance, and I still go on.

"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance," said he,
"And I'll lead you all wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance," said he.

They cut me down, but I lept up high.
"I am the life that'll never never die
And I'll live in you if you'll live in me.
I am the Lord of the dance," said he.

"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance," said he,
"And I'll lead you all wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance," said he

Personal note.

G. you will dance stronger when the devil is on your back.