Sunday, June 20, 2010

Can I?

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” ~~Walter Anderson

To love, to relate, to understand, we have to remove boundaries and become vulnerable. The question is how do we do that once the boundaries had been set in stone. Who has the strength to even begin to knock them down? Who has the nerve? Who has the patience? We are often so caught up in our own crap that we forget to see what is real. Then in moments of reflection we stop and realize "oh yeah". We make bad decisions for all the wrong reason, being easily distracted by our own hang-ups, but we are constantly searching for what is concrete. Then when our lives move from the abstract to the concrete, we feel like Alice tumbling through the rabbit hole. We struggle to comprehend our surroundings. We can accept the falsehoods of the life we desire more easily than the truths of our reality. We put the joker on a pedestal, expecting a show; yet, we are shocked when he fails to perform to our expectations. The reality is sharper and more painful, and with that we begin to applaud the imaginary because it is safer.

Safer is not always reliable. It is what it is, and then life becomes predictable and shallow. People cannot fit into our prefabricated designs. So, with that in mind, I pick up the sledgehammer and swing.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Just the Normal Sunday Update or Is it?

Wow, what a week! It was a summer blockbuster within itself with the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. First of all, my poor Thing Two fell during his school picnic and is beginning the summer with a broken arm. As my mother said, we are just surprised it hasn't happened before now. He is an extremely active child who has been taking evening runs since he was ten months. He rolled across my living room at four months and crawled at six. He is taking pretty well to the cast, and it hasn't slowed his video game playing at all.
Yesterday, his sister went to a sleepover, so he and I had the entire day with just the two of us. We went out for pizza and then to The Prince of Persia. I am not a video game purist so I really enjoyed the movie. Just a perfect, popcorn munching, adventure flick for a stormy Saturday. We then came home and Thing One watched the original Clash of the Titans. The stop action monsters bugged him more than the current use of CGI. His reasoning makes sense to me: they look like the monsters in HIS head. He loved it though because, at the moment, he is all things Greek mythology.
As of WW, I haven't followed it closely this week with the finals, graduation, and Thing One's arm in a sling, but I haven't gained. In fact, the blouse I wore to graduation hasn't been worn in months. It was the first time I have worn it without a jacket. Motivation to do better this week, but I have something tempting sitting on my counter, a KitchenAid mixer. Wow, it sure is purdy...and free. A very, very dear friend gave it to me since his mother has two. I used it today to knead my biscuit dough, and Thing Two and I just played with the features. I am now dreaming of the pasta attachment. I don't know what I am having for dinner tonight, but something will be mixed.
Oh, and I cannot forget this week brings two of my summer pleasures, True Blood and the World Cup!!!!!!


Sunday, June 6, 2010

WW Update

Several years ago, I was a health freak. I very rarely ate meat and worked out every day I could. I drank plenty of water and felt really mentally and physically. What happened? I got married. No, I am not blaming him and our marriage, however, we were low on cash and time. Also, he liked meat, and I wanted to make meals to please him. We also discovered when we had cash, there were places called restaurants that would cater to our every desire. I still could have made wise food decisions, but I didn't. Finally, after fourteen years, I have now decided it is time for me to eat like a grown-up. In other words, if I want to dodge the diabetes bullet, I need to take responsibility for what I eat. Yes, it is easier to reach for the burger, but being a grown-up isn't always easy.

Well, I am now two weeks into the program, and I am liking the results and the freedom. I had pizza Friday night with my family. I had real food, and I still balanced my life with the plan. As of 8 AM this morning, I am down 7.7 lbs. I lost two just this week. My biggest problem is trying to drink the recommended water. If I am not thirsty, I don't do it. The greatest accomplishment is my renewed desire to work out. I am truly enjoying my 5K walks. I seriously thought of joining a friend in the couch to 5K running challenge, but I have a bad knee. The doctor told me at twenty-two not to run due to the deterioration of the knee, and I cannot forget it. I have no desire to end up needing a replacement years before I should.

I also want to congratulate somebody I love for joining WW with me. We can do this together, I promise. I am cheering you on, 110%