Okay, she is happy. Since her husband left her, she has lost weight and is wearing jeans she hasn't had on in five years. Five years ago, they were also separated. Her soon to be ex is wondering why she didn't care during their time together. He is also losing weight. He is feeling better about himself. I did the same when I was separated from my ex. To be honest, I became frumpy during the last few months of our marriage. My entire being was lost within a haze. Why? Why do we get motivated by loss and depression? Why do we become complacent during the times of comfort? Isn't that when we should be at our best?
Now, I am being healthier, and yes, I am doing it for me, but I would be a liar if I said that other people noticing is nothing to me. Wait, let me even try to say that with a straight face...nope, can't do it. If you are looking for false modesty, come back some other time. I like positive attention. In receiving this positive attention, I have done some reflection, and I noticed a simple fact about myself; I am at my best when surrounded by healthy relationships. Boy, that was ground breaking. When I am with happy, healthy people, I want to be happy and healthy. I want to be my best for those I love. The question is why do we slack with time? Is it because we develop the attitudes of "I have my man" or "love me for who I am"? Yes, we need unconditional love as is, but did I hide behind it as an excuse? Is it we forget to challenge ourselves when other people are demanding our time and effort. When do we stop loving ourselves in trying to love others? How can we keep this happening? I wish I knew.
I just know that there have been people unworthy of my best, and that wasn't their fault or mine. I just invested too much time in the lost. I am now taking care of myself for me and my children, and yes, we are worthy. If and when I fall in love, it will be with somebody who is worthy, AND I will give that person my best because we both deserve it. If a relationship brings me down, then that is not the healthy relationship I am needing. This extends to lovers, friends, and community. I deserve to be me at full speed.