Saturday, July 30, 2011

Simplicity for Survival, Part II

To end a toxic relationship, you also need to remember that you cannot control the toxic waste that streams from their mouths.  If they were dysfunctional with you, then they will be as well without you.  Some people are also born for the fight.  They are not content unless they "have their say".  They may smile at your face and then talk freely about you behind your back, and this is okay.

What?  Yep, you read right; it is okay.   If it damages your reputation in anyway, then take direct action; however, if it is just with another person over coffee, then you know that is okay to ignore them.  Yes, it hurts.  Hurts bad, but when you attack back you open yourself to more heartbreak.  Remember, this person isn't your friend for a reason.  In a perfect, post therapy world, we should be able to say, "Excuse me, but I don't appreciate what you said."  In reality...well, it may not be met with the response you want.

You are not a bad person.  I am not a bad person, and their opinions of you shouldn't make you feel like you are.  Yet, what if you are the one trashing somebody over coffee?  Then stop.  Stop being that person.  Stop bullying.  Stop feeding your own insecurities.  We are all beautiful in our own ways, and the attempt to destroy others for your own self-gratification is only taking away from your peace of mind.  If you must vent, then vent to one trusted confidant, and make sure your opinions are balanced.  No need to drag others into a moment of muck.

So, just in case you are the one going through a detox or you are the one causing the detox, know that God knows the truth, and the truth is really in your heart on why it is happening.  Accept and move on and hopefully surprise visits in Walmart won't be that bad.

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