It Was the Best of Times, and It Was the Worst of Times

I haven't posted in a while due to life just being chaotic.  Adjustments are being made, and there have been good days, great days, and some days...well...not so good or great.  It has just been life with the good, the bad, and the ugly; however, it has been ours.  It is real.  No need to deal with fiction when reality is just better in so many different ways.  With that being said, I would rather have a bad day with the Flatlander than a perfect day with somebody else.  He centers me.

The good:  The kids, all of them.  A night with rain beating down, pumpkin candles, Russian tea, and the sounds of Billie Holiday. 

The Bad:  I really don't want to go into deeper details out of respect for all involved, but let's just say life can throw you a curve.  Just when you you have a chance to inhale, you watch something fall apart.  You may want to ask God "why me", but shouldn't it be "why not me".  Every person who is under the moon tonight has problems, and sometimes they just seem to overwhelm.  My minister reflected on this just last Sunday and made several valid points, and this is what I am holding to this week:

1.  Repent:  Luke 13:1-5
2.  Reform: 
3.  Remember:  Psalm 77:7-8
4.  Revive:  Hosea 6: 1-3
5.  Report:  Be prepared to report how your hardships glorify God, your first true love.  
 
Someday soon I plan to "Go Tell It on the Mountain".

The Ugly:  Recently, I did a two part posting over toxic relationships, and I did so due to somebody actually acting out toward me in a manner that made me extremely uncomfortable.  Basically, they wished that my new marriage, life, and relationships will crumble around me.  Karma was going to get me.  Why?  Because we aren't close anymore.  Even though I tried to ignore her, for the most part, I must say that her attitude did bother me just because I am that much of a thought on her mind.  That my happiness bothers her so much, she must wish harm for good.  Needless to say, even though I am not a Buddhist, I really don't think that is purpose of Karma.  We don't go through life doing good to repay others with bad.  I don't see why we want bad things to happen to others.  Here is my open statement to her, "I don't want anything bad to happen to you, your marriage, or your life.  I believe you have a good heart, and you deserve to exist without pain.  My life shouldn't be your focus, as your life shouldn't be mine.  Let's just exist without being in each other's way.  Believe it or not, you are not even a blip on my radar, anymore.  I will wake up tomorrow with a clear heart and mind and move forward.  I suggest you do the same."

Simplicity for Survival, Part II

To end a toxic relationship, you also need to remember that you cannot control the toxic waste that streams from their mouths.  If they were dysfunctional with you, then they will be as well without you.  Some people are also born for the fight.  They are not content unless they "have their say".  They may smile at your face and then talk freely about you behind your back, and this is okay.

What?  Yep, you read right; it is okay.   If it damages your reputation in anyway, then take direct action; however, if it is just with another person over coffee, then you know that is okay to ignore them.  Yes, it hurts.  Hurts bad, but when you attack back you open yourself to more heartbreak.  Remember, this person isn't your friend for a reason.  In a perfect, post therapy world, we should be able to say, "Excuse me, but I don't appreciate what you said."  In reality...well, it may not be met with the response you want.

You are not a bad person.  I am not a bad person, and their opinions of you shouldn't make you feel like you are.  Yet, what if you are the one trashing somebody over coffee?  Then stop.  Stop being that person.  Stop bullying.  Stop feeding your own insecurities.  We are all beautiful in our own ways, and the attempt to destroy others for your own self-gratification is only taking away from your peace of mind.  If you must vent, then vent to one trusted confidant, and make sure your opinions are balanced.  No need to drag others into a moment of muck.

So, just in case you are the one going through a detox or you are the one causing the detox, know that God knows the truth, and the truth is really in your heart on why it is happening.  Accept and move on and hopefully surprise visits in Walmart won't be that bad.

Simplicity for Survival

Something happened this week that made me want to use this forum to rant and give my side and yell and scream and vent and no.  No, I am not going to do it.  Why?  Because that is not what I want to carry with me every day.  I do not want to use my words to condemn a person or situation just based on my perceptions and so called intuition.  That is more simpleton than simplistic. 

Life can sometimes be unfair.  People can be unfair.  Add it all together, and it is enough to explode, but that is far from how I want to be.  Removing toxic relationships can be painful for both parties, especially when one can only be vindicated through hateful words and painful condemnation.  It hurts.  It does bother me, but if I respond then I am the one who creates the drama.  Not fair to either party because it doesn't promote healing.  Sometimes it is best to cut your losses and walk away without blaming the other person.

My new life contains a new fiance, new home, new job, and it isn't perfect.  The beauty of it requires sacrifice and faith in the unknown.  Be patient with me as I acclimate and remember life isn't perfect.  Just deal with your own and let me deal with mine.

Planning a Party

Sunday is our engagement party.  It began as a shower, but it is now a full scale party with both genders and many people RSVPing.  I really hope it turns out well.  We rented a cabin at a local lake, so we will have access to a grill and playground.  Considering how many people are needing to be fed, I am keeping things simple with hot dogs, sausages, chicken, potato salad, seven layer salad, cowboy baked beans, fresh fruit, and a cake that I hope is as pretty in person as it was on the order form.  

I am doing the decorating myself, and I am using the color scheme I had planned to use when I was organizing a church wedding.  Navy and hot pink it is.  I super glued 10 mason jar centerpieces Saturday, and I plan on filling them with wildflowers.  I want to keep things rustic and simple, but I still think small twinkle lights will  make it there some how.  

This party is becoming more and more important, and I think it is because I am no longer planning a church wedding with family and friends.  When the big day arrives, it will be just the two of us with our kids, so this is my only chance to include everybody.  Yeah, they were with me the first go around, but they have also been with me as the world turned upside down on me.  They were the ones who believed in me when nobody else did, and for that, I need a way to say thank you; the engagement party is one big thank you for their love and support.

This party is also a good bye.  I am in the process of moving, and I won't be in our area on a daily basis anymore.  I am already spending more time there than here.  Bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet.  

Looking for the Little White Church

Clingmans Dome with my Head Literally in the Clouds

The destination wedding to Gatlinburg is on; more of a weekend retreat than destination.  The original date is still off due to events we didn't see coming, but that is life.  In order to be prepared (biggie for me), we ran down to TN this past weekend with research on the brain.  I wanted to see the chapels before I sent money, and I am really glad I did.  In case any of you have used the chapels in downtown, this is not judgmental in any way.  Every  wedding should match the bride AND groom; however, I really don't want to get married next to Ripley's Believe It or Not.  Love that place, but not dream wedding material for me.  It worked well for my groom's dad, but I want to be away from the sounds of the tourists.  Tourists can be a loud bunch.    With that in mind, I am happy to report we did find a place with a lot of potential.  The Chapel in the Glen is beautiful and tucked on a mountain several miles outside of town.  Quiet and peaceful are the two best words to describe it.  She took us into the chapel, and it just looked perfect for what we had in mind, just us and the kids.  Nothing tacky, which has been a worry for the groom's mother.  No Elvis at the door with wedding book in hand, which disappoints Thing One.  Simple, sweet, and beautiful.  I am interested in a waterfall service below the chapel.  This also appeals to the groom since he loves the look of overhanging trees.

Now the hard part...when.  

The Simple, Wanna-be Cook Goes Country

Today began with taking my granny to her monthly doctor's appointment.  Since she was a good girl and didn't cry, I took her to a local drive in for lunch. After traditional fast food bliss, she and I wanted something completely different for dinner, and thanks to our local produce stands, we were able to have half-runner green beans, new potatoes, fried green tomatoes, cornbread, and homemade blackberry cobbler.  Yummy!

My contributions were the tomatoes and cobbler:

Simple Blackberry Cobbler:
When I was about six, I would climb the hills behind my house to pick berries for my neighbor's cobblers.  I would bring my basket into her kitchen where she always asked if I had been eating the berries.  I would shake my head and say, "Nooooooooo", even though I was covered in sweet, purple evidence.  If you go picking, be careful since blackberry bushes seem to attract copperheads.  This recipe came from my neighbor's kitchen to my mother's to mine.
1 cup sugar
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1 stick butter
About two-three cups fresh blackberries

1.  Mix sugar, flour, milk and melted butter together until smooth.
2.  Pour mix into a baking dish that is buttered, floured, or sprayed with oil.
3.  Sprinkle berries over the top

4.  Bake in a preheated oven at 350 for about an hour or until the top is golden brown and the cobbler is bubbly.

Doesn't get any easier or better than this


Simple Recipe for Fried Green Tomatoes:

Make a batter from 2 cups flours, 1/2 cup corn meal (or panko crumbs), salt, pepper, and just enough milk to make it smooth.
Dip your tomato slices and fry.  
Some time ago, I Googled how to keep fried foods crispy and read that you should put fried food in a colander.  Place it over a paper towel on a plate and let the oil drain.  Whoever posted this, thank you!  Perfect for fried green tomatoes.  

The colander in this picture is about sixty years old and actually not a colander at all.  My granny bought strawberries in the 1940s and kept the plastic container.  This is the only colander she has ever used.

Sunrise, Sunset

Today has been a busy one.  I have been running the roads since 9 AM this morning, and I am ready to relax with the magazines I never have the chance to read.  First stop was to open a checking account with a bank that has a branch in the town I am moving to this summer.  Then Thing Two had an eye appointment.  Turns out he needs reading glasses due to a focusing issue.  I did chuckle at the way it was worded.  Pizza and light shopping ended with me picking up my engagement ring (had to throw that in), but that is nothing compared to what I found when I made it home.

I opened the door to find my eldest cleaning the kitchen.  A beautiful sight for my tired eyes, but she was beaming from ear to ear.  She had made the perfect egg (sunny side up) and homemade pancakes.  The recipe came from a website.  As she happily went out of the room, I nibbled a leftover pancake, and wow, she impressed me.  They were delicious and better than most adults'.  I have to admit I miss the little tow head that stood in front of the pantry and asked for "hot yummies", but I am blown away by the independent young lady she has become.  My baby is an extraordinary young lady, and I am humbled that she is mine.